When you enter into your first ever real, long-term relationship, there's a huge learning curve. Even if you're totally smitten with your new partner, transitioning from being just a "me" to being one half of a "we" takes some serious getting used to.
Don't make assumptions
But of all the things that you'll have to adjust to, by far one of the biggest challenges you'll face with your first serious partner is learning how to communicate in a relationship in a way that's healthy, effective, and works well for both of you.
The communication and dating news? It's totally doable — it just might take a little time. If you are an active listener and patient, you will be able communicate with ease.
Obstacles to finding love
Not all partners are open and able to communicate well. It is up to both of you to find communication and dating way to communicate — perhaps you will create your own method. Simply put, no two couples have exactly the same communication styleand it's up to you and your partner to find what works for you and what doesn't. If you're a relationship rookie, figuring out the do's and don'ts of communicating with your partner is something that happens gradually — but if you want a head start, here are 11 expert tips that can help put you on the fast track to becoming an awesome communicator.
You know what they say about people who make assumptions Anytime you are confused or unsure about anything your partner may say, ask them what they meant. Hopefully your partner will make an effort to clarify their intention so there are no misunderstandings between you.
When you're in the honeymoon phase, it's not unusual to want to constantly be around your new partner, whether that's IRL or over text. But over time, your digital communication habits might change — and that's OK. You just need to be secure in knowing your partner will respond to a text if it is an emergency or if a response communication and dating needed.
While it's common to have some doubts at the beginning of a relationship — especially if it's your first serious one — it's communication and dating not to let yourself get too caught up in those insecurities and start overthinking every little thing.
While i'd like to believe people value communicating while dating, it's a skill set not everyone has and perhaps should be taught.
Be comfortable in knowing that your partner chose you and not someone else. Even if you feel like you know your partner so well that you could finish all their sentences, it doesn't mean that you should. Instead, let them have the space to form and articulate their own thoughts, sans interruption.
They may become angry or frustrated. Let them say what they need to say in the time they need to say it and they will be happy and you will learn to accommodate their way of communicating.
Every couple is going to have arguments from time to time — that's inevitable. What really matters is how you argue, and whether it's healthy or hurtful. When you have an argument with your partner, and you will have them, try to keep them healthy and respectful.
If you cannot resolve your argument right away, learn to agree to disagree and drop the subject.
It's not easy to learn how to say I'm sorry in a relationshipbut if you want your relationship to last, being able to take ability for your actions and apologize for the mistakes you make is crucial ability. Your partner should accept your apology. The wrong way to communicate is to blame the error on your partner or someone else.
Take responsibility for what you say so you can avoid any communication problems. The key to great communication?
17 rules for effective communication in a relationship
According to relationship expert Audrey Hopeit's important to be able to recognize when you should stop talking and start actively listening to your partner instead. So many times people pretend to listen and just wait long enough to respond. This is not good communication.
A spiritual truth is that listening to someone is the greatest gift you can give them. When issues pop up in a relationship as they're bound to doit can be scary to voice your thoughts and concerns to your partner — but it's not healthy to bottle up your feelings or sweep problems under the rug.
Dare to be the real you all the way through. When you're single, the only person you have to take into when you make decisions is you; in a relationship, you have to think about your partner's wants and needs, too.
When you're in a relationship for the first time, it's easy to put blinders on and ignore red flags because you simply don't want to see them. But it's crucial to communicate not only with your partner, but with yourself, too — which is why learning to trust your gut in a relationship is so important.
They also show that you are communication and dating in — and not afraid to address what might be uncomfortable. Naturally, it takes time and effort to improve your communication skills in a relationship — but that doesn't mean you and your new partner can't have fun along the way.
The ultimate goal? To be able to work through your issues, concerns, and needs as a team that your first real relationship also ends up being one where you're both satisfied — happy communicating! By Laken Howard.